calm yet fierce
Have you tried meditation? Apparently it is the way to go.
The guided flute at whatever megahertz to heal, a soft lady telling you to calm your ass down down. YouTube thinks I love them simply because I try. I click on them. I think maybe this will slow my heart rate, give me some deep breaths. But, if you look at my video history typically about 2 minutes in, I roll out. “Calm down” is a common phrase in my head. Typically, it’s accompanied with some curse words, (as you can see above). But I don’t. I don’t calm down. Recently, I set the intention to once again, attempt a “slow life,” - to calm down. Well, a few days in and I’m kinda over it..it’s just not me. How does someone find balance while remaining high strung? They don’t. They crash. Believe me. Though the ladies (and gents) that embrace “morning meditations” and the “minimalistic life” are inspiration that I watch from afar, they are not me, so, I have set a new intention.
Be a tiger.
Along my way, I have encountered a number of animal totems, each one bringing lessons in their own way. It’s another example of how we as humans are deeply connected to the animal kingdom through our spirit. We need animals as much as they need us. Even when we are in a “concrete jungle” so-to-speak, the world outside of ourselves coexists and finds its way into our being. In my opinion, these connections are ways in which God speaks to us through his language. It’s a way for our heart to speak up when our minds are running out of control.
So, in the last few weeks when tigers started popping up into my sphere I realized I needed to listen. Then, as in years past with other animals, I have become obsessed.
A tiger embodies a primal energy that captivates our imagination and leaves a mark on our psyche. Its raw power commands respect, while its solitary nature and elusive demeanor evoke a sense of mystery. It’s calm, but calm like a ticking bomb is calm. As apex predators, tigers exude a sense of authority over themselves and their environment. They instill fear yet admiration in those who encounter them, while also holding a sense of play for themselves. Relaxation is no stranger to them. In the wild, they only hunt like once a week, the rest of the time is spent lounging, swimming, wandering, planning. They seek out prey long before they pounce.
In many cultures, the tiger holds symbolic significance, representing power, courage, and resilience. From the Bengal tiger of India to the elusive Siberian tiger, these magnificent creatures have inspired myths, folklore, and spiritual beliefs for centuries. In Chinese culture, the tiger is one of the twelve animals of the Chinese zodiac, symbolizing strength, bravery, and protection. In Hindu mythology, the goddess Durga is often depicted riding atop a tiger, symbolizing her fierce and protective nature. I hadn’t really thought about it before but my favorite characters as a kid were tigers - Tony, Tigger & Hobbs. They each personified a playful enthusiasm, encouragement, yet had a savage undertone.
Encapsulating a tiger's energy as a person doesn’t exactly come naturally to a people-pleaser like myself. However, it’s not impossible. A few inspirations come to mind.
For one, tigers often mark their territory to prevent competition from their peers. A parallel that I see in our society is the constant push for people to define themselves through their work. “Define your niche,” or even just the instinctive small-talk question of “what do you do?” We don’t typically answer with “puzzles.” We distinguish ourselves in our territory through the position we hold. Even though there are thousands of other plumbers, librarians or chefs out there our territory is set. It’s also why when we transition to a new career or position it feels a little shaky - it’s new territory, the boundaries are yet to be drawn.
Tigers are also very solitary animals, the mothers stay with their cubs for a couple years to train them to hunt and survive, but after that they head out on their own. They never form packs. They are elusive. For example, when a tiger escaped from a zoo in California it took weeks to track it down because of its stealthy nature. Though tribalism and family ties often are promoted in our culture, loners still thrive. I take solace in the spirit of an introvert. Tigers remind me that it’s okay to be alone, to be an outlier. There’s strength in our solitude. Albert Einstein is often quoted, “The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.” He’s a perfect example of a tiger, serious about his work, elusive to media attention, yet remembered for his playful gestures.
Tigers are gentle. Until they’re not. The intensity of a tiger’s vitality comes from their gentleness. They are patient with their handlers in the circus or the zoo, they are calm in their hunt, utilizing the night as cover for their vicious attack, often finding the weakest pig or deer in the pack to eat. They lurk quietly before they engage. However, there is the undertone that never escapes its prey. That murmur of fury is what captivates the audience. We’re able to connect to tiger energy through tenderness, yet hold a space for ferocity.
In the end, the tiger serves as a symbol for our own silent strength and primal energy. The tiger beckons us to embrace our own power but tread lightly, lest we disturb the delicate balance between bliss and fury. Calm yet fierce.
In honor of the tiger being the declared the National Animal of India I took the opportunity to finally try Gulab Jamun that have been on my list of pastries to make for a couple years now. They were surprisingly easy, although I did find out the hard way that the gluten-free flour needs a little more attention than the recipes I found. I made them with milk powder rather than the traditional Khoya or Mawa which is made by boiling down whole milk until it is solidified. I think I will try that next time but for my first batch (or in this case, my first publishable batch, since it took a lot of tweaking on my part to get it down right) I went the cheater route and used dried whole milk powder. If you’re looking for a dairy-free or vegan version I found plenty online that looked delicious, most of them relying on cashew cream or alternative milks.
Gulab Jamun
makes about 12
1/4 c whole milk powder
1/4 c flour (I used King Arthur GF Measure for Measure)
1/8 t baking powder
1/8 t baking soda
1/8 t salt
1/8 t cardamom
1/8 t garam masala
1 T neutral oil (I used melted coconut oil, any kind should work)
2-3 T milk*
Sugar Syrup: boil equal parts sugar & water until sugar is dissolved, add a splash of rose water, a pinch of tumeric, a dash of cardamom & a dash of garam masala
Directions:
Mix up dry ingredients with your hands, slowly incorporate oil into dry ingredients making a mealy crumbly texture. SLOWLY add the milk until a dough forms.
*With the gluten free flour I ended up using closer to a quarter cup of milk to make them successfully. Add milk until the dough resembles a smooth cookie dough.
Scoop into about 1” balls and deep fry or air fry (spray all around with pan-spray first) until they are golden brown. Immediately drop them into the syrup and let them soak for at least 10-15 minutes (supposed to soak for an hour or more traditionally but yeah, I didn’t want to wait..probably should do that..patience is a virtue)
top with chopped toasted pistachios or almonds or not. I wanted to be extra & topped them with rose petals too, but mostly that’s just because I bought rose petals on a whim & what the hell do you actually do with those on a regular basis? I guess you just be extra.
Eat them. They’re crazy good.
